My Dad is dying from a melanoma brain tumor, we'd like to know how to know what to expect in the final weeks?
Posted on May 31, 2008 under Brain Tumors |Dad was diagnosed 9 months ago with a melanoma brain tumor and severe swelling around the tumor. At that time they suggested a cyberknife treatment which might slow the tumors growth. With the cyberknife treatment we could expect 6-9 months, without cyberknife 6 weeks at most. He did have the cyberknife treatment. Orginal melanoma was in his eye several years ago, which they removed the entire eye. He has also had lung cancer and tumors on both his adrenal gland and colon. Now, 9 months later he is under hospice care and seems to be deteriorating quickly. He has had several seizures and has lost control of his bladder and has very little strength left. He now has fluid in his lungs and blood in his urine, (cathiter), sleeps alot and has lost most of his appetite. Ironically his mind is still pretty sharp. My mom and I are wondering what things to look for to know the end is near.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
im sooo sorry….. its good that your trying too expect it that way when it does come your sort of ready for it….but that does not mean it still wont hurt… idk if you belive in god but i will definatly pray for your family… good luck
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
I, will ask for today's mass at my church to be dedicated to him and to pray for him. God Bless you, your family, and your Father. If he passes he will be in a much better place.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
I'm very sorry Debbie for what you and your family are going through and will continue to endure throughout his illness and your grieving process.
The best place to start for answers to your questions would be your father's hospice care nurse. That's what they're there for…to make this transition as easy as possible for the patient and their family.
In the meantime, look for a worsening of your father's current symptoms. More tired, less alert, refusing food, decreased bodily functions, cold extremities, etc. His doctor may prescribe extra pain-relievers during this time, leaving him more unresponsive, but able to rest much more comfortably, until soon after that, he will most likely become completely unresponsive just before he passes.
Please use this time to communicate with his caregivers to see that your needs are being met as well as those of your fathers during this difficult time.
God bless.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
Debbie, I am really sorry to hear about your dad.
All I can suggest is what my boss did when her husband had little time left. She brought him home and instead of pain killers, she got him accupressure & accupuncture she did this because she wanted her husband to be coherant and able to communicate with them.
Things were really calm at their house, even with a 1 year baby. They just hung out, laughed, cried, talked, made videos and just really talked, so when he finally did go it wasn't so hard because the family got closure.
She also had a priest come in and prayed with them for 2 hours on his last day until he passed.
He was paralyzed from the neck down but the final night he moved his arms and hugged my boss and looked her in the eyes and then died.
Tragic yes, but my boss says that she wouldn't have had it any other way. She didn't like the hospital system because she noticed how much they drugged people to help numb the pain, but numbing the pain also numbs the person and makes them incoherant.
Hope this helps, again, I am sorry!
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
My first wife died of melanoma 13 yrs ago. Same scenario. Progressed to lung spots then finally to brain tumors. What's going to happen next actually depends on the location of the tumor in the brain. My wife was lucid until the last 10 days. Not a lot of pain involved. But in the end we did get a Morphine patch to make sure there would be no pain. A lot of people get narcotics from the doctor and then worry that they are giving over the prescribed dosage. At this point, that should be of no concern at all. When someone is terminal, give whatever it takes to keep them comfortable. In the final few days she was unresponsive. Pretty much just breathing. Not really there. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I know what you are feeling. I've been there.
God bless you.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:19 am
I was going to say you should speak to the hospice people.
I stand behind that. They know a lot about the dying process.
You can also call your Dad's doctor.
My thoughts are with you.